Back in Berkeley

Alas, here I am once again, blogging to you, my faithful or not-so-faithful readers. Welcome to the next step in my journey as an ELCA seminarian.

A few unrelated thoughts first:

• It seems that ever since my apartment was burglarized, I have been less in touch with the electronic world via the interweb. I would love to be more regular about blogging and keeping in touch with people through such wonderful inventions as Facebook. First the struggle was living without a personal computer. I realize this is such a sign of my being a resident of the "first-world". From what I have heard, most of the world survive without personal computers, and yet as a resident of this, the United States, I find myself unable to function at some level without my computer. It reminds me of those times when my cell phone doesn't work and I ask, how did the world function without cell phones? Granted I was even alive when we lived without computers or cell phones, and yet the inventions have been so novel and so helpful that I can't even remember what it was like to hope that someone would pick me up at the airport when my flight came in late or other similar situations for which the cell phone has been so helpful.

• The second and latest struggle in my lessened ability to keep updated and updating is the beginning of another school year in which I have been working most to find the balance of full-time student life again. It takes a while to get back in the swing of things, though I can tell the process didn't take so long this fall as it did last year, when I was a new student after a 4-year hiatus.

Now here I am, finished with both my first year of seminary and CPE, beginning my second year of academic study. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with this process and the way it seems my life is planned out for the next few years. One would think this is a comfort. In fact, while life is planned for me, it is still largely unknown. As it is right now, I will be a seminarian for another 3 years (including the one I am just beginning). This year I continue to reside at PLTS, aside from my Cross-Cultural Experience in January, for which I am hoping to go abroad somewhere. Next year I will be on internship at a destination yet to be determined.

[I think internship is the piece that makes this journey uncomfortable. It makes seminary not like college, when I knew I would be at St. Olaf for four years. It's like this big question mark thrown into the mix, and it makes me feel unsettled. That could be a good thing...for I do believe (and experienced first-hand in CPE this summer) that it is when we get out of our comfort zones and when our ego is out of the way that the Spirit is able to work and have the greatest impact. Good thing aside, life feels uncertain and planned for me at the same time.]

The year after internship I return to PLTS for my fourth year and final year of study. It is after that time that I will go through Approval with my Candidacy Committee, and if they feel like I am a good candidate for ministry they will approve me and I will then move into the draft of new grads looking for a First Call. It is once I am so called to my first congregation that I can then be ordained. Ordination in the ELCA cannot happen until the First Call is initiated.

In a couple weeks I am up for the second of three steps in the Candidacy process (of which I mentioned Approval is the third and last, and Entrance is the first) - Endorsement. Endorsement is when I need to decide which track I am pursuing - ordination (pastor), consecration (diaconal minister or deaconess), or commissioned (Associates In Ministry or AIM). I am pursuing ordination. In addition to choosing a track to which one feels called, one then needs to write the Endorsement Essay, where one reflects on her call to ministry and tells her story since Entrance (traditionally coincides with the beginning of academic study at a seminary). The Endorsement Essay asks theological questions about the creeds, scripture, and other historical documents of which the candidate needs to disclose her thoughts. It also asks the candidate to reflect on the ELCA's Constitution and By-laws, as well as Vision and Expectations (written for all rostered peoples of the ELCA).

I have tossed around the idea of posting my Endorsement Essay here for you all to read. In the end I decided not to do that for a number of different reasons, one being that I didn't feel like I got to say all I wanted to say in the amount of space allotted. If you happen to be really curious and ask nicely, I may be inclined to email you a copy...

The final part of Endorsement is the Endorsement Interview, at which I sit before a couple representatives of my Candidacy Committee and my academic advisor at PLTS. From what I know they will ask me questions from their reading of my Essay, as well as anything else they feel they need to know in order to decide if they feel I should be Endorsed. My interview is on October 13 at 8am. I would appreciate any thoughts or prayers during that time, as the interview is an important and albeit a little scary part of the process. The Committee then decides if I should be Endorsed, Postponed, or Denied to continue as a candidate for ministry in the ELCA. I will definitely keep you updated as things progress.

I would like to blog about my classes this semester and other more personal things, but for now this post is long enough. More on those things another day. Grace and peace to you!