The End of CPE and The Beginning of the Next Transition

It has been over a month since my last entry. I finished CPE on Friday and am now celebrating by spending a couple days with my sister in her new homestate of Florida. It has been so good to be with her again and get some small taste for her new life down here. Today (now technically yesterday) we spent the afternoon soaking up rays at Mexico Beach (on the panhandle...she lives in Panama City), and tomorrow we'll do the same at Panama City Beach. I'll head back up to Chicago on Wednesday night, pack up my apartment, and head to my parents house on Saturday. On Sunday I'll begin the drive back to the west coast. Right now the plan is to drive through Denver, stay a couple days, and make it out to Berkeley by September 5. Unfortunately I won't have much time to spend in Denver...I miss being there so much. I can't wait to get back, even for such a short visit. I'm going to miss DPR and APR, who will be out of town. I'm so sad. But I'm hoping to see EC, BS, TM, and CK at least.

I have loved living in Chicago this summer. It is such a fun city in the summertime. I've been able to spend time with such great people - I am going to miss that the most. I loved going out with TH, ZJ, and KJ. I cherished dinners with KG, JG, and MG. I will miss getting together with HS, BK, SN, and LN. I'll even miss living with SN - she has been a great roommate and a lot of fun to get to know. I'll also miss what Chicago has to offer - a beautiful skyline, Summer Dance in Grant Park, great museums, the lakefront, great food (I finally got to have curry last week and it was amazing!), user-friendly public transportation. I won't miss being on-call, sleeping (or not) at the hospital, writing intense self-reflective papers, and working M-F 8:30-4:30.

The end of CPE was bittersweet. I actually am glad I went through the process and let myself really engage with it and dig deep into my stuff. I can't say it was always fun, or that I would do it again (at least anytime soon), but I am thankful. Something important I have been learning these last couple weeks is about the way I am in the world. I was told at a friend's wedding that I am a private person. I never thought of myself as such, but have come to realize why I could/am perceived that way. I want to work on being more open and sharing myself with the world. I want to work on overcoming my fear and feeling of being unimportant so that I can be myself and have other people join me on my journey, instead of trying to do it all myself. I know this won't be an easy thing to learn, as I think our society encourages us to try to live life on our own without a community walking with us, but right now I am up for the challenge. I am also still working on having a voice. I want and need to stay conscious of both of these things as I head back to seminary.

I want to give you a little life update on the last month. The reason for my lack of blogging is that my apartment was burglarized almost a month ago. The intruder broke in/out through my bedroom window and stole mine and my roommate's laptops, as well as my digital camera and jewelry. It was a very traumatic experience, and I still find myself on edge about having windows shut and locked, for fear of someone breaking in. Thankfully neither my roommate nor I were present when the intruder broke in. I was the one who came home from work to find my room violated and our stuff gone. What a terrible experience. I don't wish it on anyone. And at the same time I know that things like this happen often - way more often than I even consider. It's terrible, and it happens, and it's not like I can do much to make it any different. Granted I could have been shutting and locking my windows all summer, but I have now learned my lesson. Things are much better now. I've been working with insurance (thankfully I had renter's - I recommend having it if you rent - it's cheap and worth it) - it's been frustrating b/c they're not going to give me enough to replace everything at the value I bought it all at, but at least they're giving me something. I'm typing this from my new MacBook Pro. I haven't replaced the camera or any jewelry yet. Eventually.

I think almost all of my dating friends have gotten engaged in the last month. It is absolutely ridiculous. As of today the list includes VT and DC, my brother and EJ, KD and JW, HS and BK, and KG and FK. That is so many weddings for next year. Don't get me wrong - I am excited for them all, but 5 engagements in one month...!

Two weekends ago I got to fly to L.A. and witness the marriage of my good friend EJ and his new wife CJ. They are such great people and I am so excited for them. EJ is a good friend from college, so it was a little Olaf reunion. Good times. It was so good to see "everyone", even if it was such a quick weekend and I feel like catching up just wasn't quite possible with each one.

That brings me to the end of CPE and now Florida. Soon to be Chicago to Wisconsin, to Denver, to Berkeley. I can't wait to get back to the Bay Area. I miss the seminary community and I am so excited to move in with KD! It's going to be a great year. Right now I'm trying to stay present in this transition, consciously saying my goodbyes, and hellos and goodbyes, and hellos again. Thanks for staying with me this summer if you made it this far. It was an important part of my journey, and just another season of growth. haha :) I'm not sure yet if I'll keep the blog going...my gut tells me I will so you can continue to follow me throughout my seminary experience, but we shall see. Until we meet again.