The first on-call shift

Hello readers.  

The week escaped faster than I thought.  I am now finished with my first week of CPE and currently doing my first on-call shift.  That means that, since it is Saturday, I am in the hospital from 9am-9am on Sunday.  Mostly I am to respond to whatever immediate needs come up, and I have also been doing some follow-up with patients (which means they have asked for someone from the Chaplain's Office to visit them again).  

The week went well.  I was feeling pretty anxious about everything all week.  We spent most of our time taking care of paperwork stuff, learning policies, and doing role-play to practice for real situations.  We've practiced and talked about what to do in all sorts of circumstances - the everyday to the sudden traumatic.  I can't say I feel confident in everything yet, even the basics, but as I get to know the hospital more, and meet with patients more, my anxiety is lessening.

Meeting with patients has been great, though I find it interesting that so far almost every time I pray with a patient or with their family I find myself getting emotional.  It's hard for me to talk when I want to cry, so this is difficult, but I'm working through it and continuing to pray for strength, peace, and comfort.  I haven't lost it with any patients, nor have I even cried really, but my voice changes, and I'm sure they can tell something is up.  I haven't figured out why my body responds that way yet...I wonder if it's because I feel touched to be in that sacred space with people.  Sometimes it might be because I wish they didn't have to be in the hospital and suffer from whatever it is.  I think usually it is feeling so honored to be invited into people's lives, just for a moment, to walk with them on part of the journey, and know that we are all in it together.  Praying with people is usually powerful for me, especially when we are praying specifically for something to happen.  In this case it is mostly healing.  I pray for the doctors and nurses that serve the patients, and for the families, too.  

I mentioned before that I am on-call today.  I will be on-call 10 times this summer, approximately once per week.  We are on-site when on-call, so I stay in our Pastoral Care office when I'm not seeing patients or getting outside for some air.  

I said in earlier posts that I am part of a group of 7 that are doing this program together.  My group is great and we get along well.  It is fun to be together - that helped this orientation week to go by more quickly.  It will be good to learn from each other as we all go through this together.  The religious breakup: three ELCA Lutherans (including myself), two men studying to be Catholic priests, one Evangelical Covenant, and one Baptist.  We are a good mix.

When I'm not at the hospital, I've been staying pretty busy.  I spent time with my neighbor playing pool one night, hung out with some fellow CPE students another, and got to have dinner last night with some close college friends.  Coming to Chicago was a great idea, both in being able to be close to my parents and grandparents, and getting to be near close friends that I haven't seen in a while.  

That's enough for this post.  I hope you are enjoying reading about one ELCA seminarian's experience of CPE.